Keeping Up with the Joneses: How to Use Social Comparison to Up Your Game

Ah, the Joneses. Have you ever wondered just who these Joneses are? And why on earth do we try so hard to keep up with them?

The fact is, social comparison is one of the ways we human beings judge ourselves. We look to others’ achievements to assess our own accomplishments. We wonder: How am I doing, anyway? Am I at least as successful as the guy next door?

We compare and contrast ourselves to an array of other people - colleagues, competitors, family and friends. We look at their achievements and use them as a yardstick for answering questions like: Am I doing as well as they are? Am I as attractive? As thin? As smart? As well-liked? As wealthy?

And where does all of this comparison leave us, anyway? Well, that depends on what you do with it. Best case scenario, it works to motivate and inspire you. You think to yourself: If they can do it, so can I! Worst case, it can be completely demoralizing, as in, I’ll never be as good as they are, so why bother?

The key is to be aware of the social comparisons you’re making - and to harness these comparisons for your own growth. What does your competitor – or your colleague or your neighbor or your sister or whomever – do especially well? How can you learn from these people? Which of their strategies and techniques can you adopt in order to improve your own effectiveness?

Use others’ successes as inspiration - and take action to up your own game. Before you know it, the Joneses may be trying to keep up with you!

Until next time…

Liz

 

Happiness Matters

In these trying times, it can be truly difficult to stay positive. Smiling and feeling happy may not come as easily as they once did. Like so many people, you may be feeling stressed, overwhelmed and worried about the future. It’s understandable. It’s also incredibly important that you push past all the doom and gloom and find your way to happiness.

Let’s be clear here. I’m not suggesting that you go into denial and pretend that all is perfectly okay. It’s not. There are genuinely bad things happening in the world. Economically, environmentally, politically… But there are also good things. And you don’t want to simply brush past those things as though they’re inconsequential. They’re not.

The point is, if you want to be truly successful and fulfilled at work and in life, happiness matters. Here’s why:

People like to be around – and do business with – positive people.

You will be more hopeful and inclined take prudent risks when you are feeling optimistic.

You will be more productive, focused and creative when you’re feeling happy.

You will be more likely to reach out to others – friends, family, business partners – when you feel good about yourself (which tends to go hand-in-hand with being happy).

You will be healthier. Studies show a strong correlation between happiness and both physical and emotional well being.

So get happy. It’s not so hard to do. Why not take a few minutes out of today’s busy schedule to simply chat with a friend, colleague or client? Try taking an invigorating walk during your lunch hour. Listen to your favorite music. Pet a dog.

These simple techniques will help brighten your day, lift your spirits and move you closer to achieving the success and fulfillment you deserve. Try them today. Chances are, you’ll be glad you did.

Until next time...

Liz

A Brief Moment of Swine Flu Hysteria (Or: A Lesson in Great Customer Service)

I am not a swine flu hysteric. Despite the media’s apparent swine flu obsession, I just haven’t bought in. Even when my 10-year old daughter came down with distinctly flu-like symptoms (fever, fatigue, upset stomach, you know the drill), I still didn’t panic.

Until, that is, I got the email. With the best of intentions, a friend emailed me that there was a case of swine flu in my daughter’s school. Worse yet, the little victim was very ill and had been admitted to the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. Okay, that was enough to get me rethinking my decision to send my daughter to school that morning. Yes, her fever was gone but she was coughing a little and she didn’t eat much breakfast… Could she possibly have swine flu?

I called the doctor’s office. It’s a large office, with 7 physicians and thousands of patients. Yet despite the large volume of calls they’d been fielding from other concerned parents, they took the time to speak with me for nearly 10 minutes. And while 10 minutes may not sound like a lot, it’s more than enough time to reassure a worried mother. Incidentally, it’s also exponentially more time than most pediatric offices will stay on the line for almost any reason.

The nurse who spoke with me was professional, pleasant, and responsive to my needs. She didn’t dismiss my concerns or rush me off the phone. She took the time to hear me out and address each of my questions in turn.

The lesson: It doesn’t take much to stand out of the crowd by simply paying attention to your customers’ needs. Listen to what your customers have to say. Ask questions, engage them, and respond to their concerns. What better way to build strong relationships, retain customers, gain outstanding referrals, and meet with well-deserved success?

Until next time…

Liz

How to Lead Your Team to Top Performance

Success is rarely accomplished as a solo act. It requires the collective contributions of multiple players, working in concert to achieve meaningful goals. To be successful, whether as a business owner, line manager, or corporate executive, you’ve got to set your people up for maximum effectiveness.

This month’s Bywater Journal addresses the leader’s role in achieving exceptional team performance. Here are a few excerpts:

In today's turbulent times, it's more important than ever to get people aligned and working together. Individual workers are under ever-increasing pressure - and the demand for results is tremendous. If ever there were a time for teamwork, the time is now.

The following strategies will help you guide your team to unparalleled collective performance:

Provide structure. Assign roles, tasks, and projects so that each member makes a meaningful and important contribution to reaching the team's goals and objectives…

Provide good management. This one calls for some flexibility, as each team has specific needs and preferences around being managed…

Provide motivation. No matter how dedicated your team may be… they still need ongoing motivation to keep doing great work. Think about creative ways to reward your people for outstanding performance. When budget constraints limit financial bonuses, why not provide a nice lunch with the boss, a Starbucks gift card, or a simple note of thanks for a job well done…

You can read this article in full or sign up for future issues of the Bywater Journal. It's always jammed with insights and practical advice for improving performance... helping you reach your goals for maximum career success!

Until next time…

Liz

Discovering the Career of Your Dreams

Here’s a sad truth. Most people work simply to earn a paycheck. They need to eat, they need to pay their mortgages, they need to work. End of story.

Or is it? My professional experience over the past 18 years tells me that many people would love to find a more fulfilling, gratifying, and meaningful way to make a living. What's more, some of these folks are willing go out on a limb to find work that brings both financial and personal reward. Yes, it can be risky to switch gears mid-career. For these courageous individuals, it's worth it.

Does this sound like you? Are you looking for a new line of work, or simply wishing you had a more gratifying job? If so, check out Alexandra Levit’s Yahoo! HotJobs article, 6 Tips for Landing Your Dream Job.

I particularly like Alexandra’s suggestion that you take the time to learn about yourself - so that you can ultimately identify the job or career that best suits you. To discover the career of your dreams, you’ll want to find work that speaks to your values, your work style and preferences, your talents, interests, and strengths.

And don’t forget to factor in your passions. Alexandra suggests that you figure out “what you’d be compelled to do even if you never got paid.” This is great advice. Just imagine channeling your passion into work that you love, work that means the world to you. Imagine discovering the career of your dreams.

Until next time…

Liz

Effective Communication: Tip #5

To be a truly effective communicator, follow this simple piece of advice: Be nice. That’s it. Be nice when you speak with others. Be nice in your emails. Be nice in your texts and voice messages. You don’t need to be sappy or phony. Just nice.

Quick case in point: I just had a lovely conversation with Michael Port. If you don’t know who Michael is, he is a former actor turned marketing guru. He writes best-selling books, gives dynamic keynote speeches, and helps small business owners get more clients through effective approaches to sales and marketing.  

I met Michael a couple of months back at a networking event and we have remained in touch since then. When he and I got off the phone this morning, I felt very good about our conversation - even though I was challenged to think about things in a different way. The fact is, you can be incredibly effective in delivering all kinds of messages – good, bad, and everything in between – if you are being nice. Not insincere. Not indirect. Not fluffy. Just nice.

Pay attention to your communications over the next several days – with clients and customers, bosses and employees, business partners, vendors, family and friends. Focus on being kind, warm, engaging, enthusiastic, and genuine. You’ll find it’s not only an effective way to communicate, it’s also a great way to build relationships, enhance credibility and establish trust. Oh yeah, and it’s essential for meeting with success.

Until next time…

Liz

New Coaching Options Now Available!

I am very excited to tell you about my new array of private coaching options! I’ve reworked, revamped, and significantly improved my previous coaching offerings to meet a much broader array of individual needs, concerns, goals, and, of course, budgets. The best way to tell you all about it is to guide you to the latest press release and send you right over to my Private Coaching page, where you can get all the details.

Any questions? Call me! I’m here to help.

Until next time…

Liz

Step Away from the Blackberry… and Other Tips for Work-Life Balance

I had a really good weekend. The weather was picture perfect, I got to hang out with my husband and kids, and I took a couple of invigorating rides on my new bike. Very nice.

What does this have to do with career success? Well, as it turns out, quite a lot. The fact is, it can be very difficult to step away from work for the weekend – or even for the evening – and simply enjoy life. For many people, it feels nearly impossible. Yet without adequate attention to relaxation and rejuvenation, you are on the fast track to burnout. And you simply can’t be successful if you’re burnt.

Here’s what I advise my clients to do at the end of each workday. If you’re not doing these things, why not give them a try? You’ve got nothing to lose (except, perhaps, for some serious stress and fatigue).

Put down the Blackberry. When you’re done working for the day, shut down your computer, turn off the Blackberry, and mentally “punch out” of the office – even if that office is in your own home. Remember, you’re entitled to have a life. No one’s going to give you permission to stop working. You’ve got to grant it to yourself.

Eat dinner! Don’t simply wolf down a Power Bar and a Diet Coke in front of the computer or during your evening commute. Go home, sit down – ideally with family or friends – and enjoy some good eats at a relaxed pace.

Honor your social commitments. The important relationships in your life will suffer if people can’t count on you. So don’t bail on friends or family in order to finish a work project – unless it is absolutely urgent and the exception to the rule.

Get some exercise. Whether you like to walk, run, lift weights, or play a little ball, exercise is vital for a healthy body and your overall well-being. Bonus: it will help you feel less stressed, better focused and more productive when you do get back to work.

The point is simple. Take care of yourself, manage your stress, and create a healthy work-life balance. These are the ticket to a successful career - and a fantastic quality of life.

Until next time…

Liz